The River: The Flamethrower! errr... Reactions
Greetings, faithful readers!
I'm creating this post as a thread to generate discussion about my short story "The River." So anyone who has read the PDF of the finished story and would like to share their thoughts, commentary, rants, questions, or theories this is the place to do so. You don't need to have well-reasoned comments, I'm just looking for your reactions.
I'm considering writing a second installment in this series (if you've finished the story, you know why), but before I start, I would really appreciate any and all feedback in order to get outside my own head and perspective on the story. And because I love to talk about this story and want to know what you thought...
I'm creating this post as a thread to generate discussion about my short story "The River." So anyone who has read the PDF of the finished story and would like to share their thoughts, commentary, rants, questions, or theories this is the place to do so. You don't need to have well-reasoned comments, I'm just looking for your reactions.
I'm considering writing a second installment in this series (if you've finished the story, you know why), but before I start, I would really appreciate any and all feedback in order to get outside my own head and perspective on the story. And because I love to talk about this story and want to know what you thought...
Comments
It's a good short journey well suited to short story telling and perhaps an episodic style if you plan on writing more.
The texture and description in this piece is well balanced with the acts and plot pacing and the story is compelling.
Your characters are coming to life here, and the style of dialog adds to the distinctive flair each brings to the story.
It's hard to find anything seriously wrong with what I've seen, if anything you might have the same problem I did with commas, a few too many, but I understand the need for an occasional indication of dramatic pause.
If this is a story you want to continue in some way I think you have the start of the necessary mythology you'd need to do it well.
If there's more, I'll be reading it.
Favorite character this time around: Gabriella
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